Just got back from yard. The fresh air was helpful. I like going out there best in the morning, while the air still has that chill to it. I can watch the sky break sometimes, if i'm lucky. It goes from a dark, almost purplish, blue to an ocean blue, then backyard swimming pool blue and finally a bright, warm, almost neon blue. In those times i always find myself standing there in the middle of the yard, neck bent to the point of pain, eyes focused with a fighter pilot's intensity, on the little space between the grill gate, or manhole cover, that runs the entire length of the yard, and the surveillance camera. In that 2 or 3 inches between the metal spikes for security, if you tweek your neck just right and squint your eyes, there's a spot you can see through with absolutely no obstructions and you get a clear view of the sky as far up as my eyes can take me.

I imagine swimming in that sky of oceanblue tranquility, floating away or i just let my eyes go as far as they can, for as long as my neck can take being in that position.

The unfortunate part, although i try not to think about it, is i always walk away feeling a bit sad - feeling a bit like the trap where they put a nut in a container with a small hole and then tempt the monkey to get the food out. He'll never be able to get his hand back out the hole with a balled fist, yet he's so hungry, so desperate for food, he won't let go. That's what it feels like. The sky is so beautiful up here. So peaceful and pure looking when everything around me is the exact opposite. How can i let it go? But at last i must. It's just another piece of beauty i'll never know!!